I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
