Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
