My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
