it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
