She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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