I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
