this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
