saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
