We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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