Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
