How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
