You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
