I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
