He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
