Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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