Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
