I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's just like the Real World with babies
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
