I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
