Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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