I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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