you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
