I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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