i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
