Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
