Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
