we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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