He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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