I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
