he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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