My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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