Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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