so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
