WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
