apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
