I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
