last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize