Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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