can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
