Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
