My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
