I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
