I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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