I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
