What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
