I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
