Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
