if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
