i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish I could teleport
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
