Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
