in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
