I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
