I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
