he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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