This girl is more easily done than said...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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