if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
