I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this boner is exhausting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize