Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
