If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
