Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
