Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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