so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
