So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
