whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
