guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
