I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
