I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize