I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
