Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
