i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have aggressive nipples.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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