She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
