it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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