is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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