I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
