I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
