how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
