dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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