I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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