lets start a swedish sibling band together
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
